Today’s invitation: Stop scrolling social media and comparing your backstage with everyone else’s front stage!
You know that morning pep talk you give yourself?
The one where you look in the mirror and mentally prepare yourself to face the challenges of the day with an encouraging mantra. Something like…
“You’re fat, you look a mess and you’re going grey! Ok, let’s go!”
That was mine for years! I found myself reserving a special kind of critique for myself that I’d never subject anyone else to.
I had a mahoosive case of comparion-itus!
From the perfect mother and daughter in the Fairy Liquid advert I watched as a child, to the perfect body type presented in the glossy magazines I read as a teen, and the ‘Mommy blogger’ social media accounts I avidly devoured as a young mum – I’d trained for it my whole life!
I’d scroll through Instagram and compare my backstage with everyone else’s front stage and beat myself up!
Whether it’s body shape or the car you drive or how well your career is going, we often revert to ‘shoulding’ on ourselves.
I should lose weight.
I should go fully electric.
I should be running this organisation by now!
Should is often our brain reacting to the fear of judgement and avoidance of shame. As my dear old nan used to say, “You can’t plant shame seeds and get rhubarb.” (She was a fountain of unnecessarily difficult-to-decipher advice!)
After my keynotes, I sometimes get asked to take selfies and used to immediately check each one to see if it needed to be taken again. And again. And again!
I used to prefer to take photos of my children with Ed rather than be in the actual picture. Then I realised that in ten years I’d most likely be fatter and older and look back on these fantastic memories with my kids noticing how young and gorgeous I was ten years ago!
The advice from your older wiser self is to stop being so critical of the vehicle you travel about in – that’s your body not your Vauxhall Corsa!
Here are some tips to help you start this journey:
Mind your language: Stand facing the mirror and speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend. Swap critique for kindness.
Kick comparisonitus to the curb: Your journey is unique. Comparing your school run attire with the carefully curated outfits on the red carpet at the BAFTAs isn’t helpful!
Surround yourself with supportive friends: The good news is that you are NOT unique! Life has different degrees of difficulty for us all. Find a group of humans that support, encourage and challenge you to be your best. If you’re on Facebook, join my Impact Lounge group for a supportive and encouraging comparisonitus-free zone!