How To Be Honest With (And About) Yourself

Ambitious Resilience, Change & Reinvention, FEATURED, Human First Leadership

When was the last time you felt vulnerable?

I asked my husband that a few years back. He thought for a moment and replied “Hmm I don’t think I’ve ever felt vulnerable!”

Whaaaaaaat? Clearly, our day to day experiences had been different. Ed has always stood on the truth about himself, had a quiet confidence in his worth and jogs through the forest at the back of our house at night!

My experience of the world has been slightly different! However, it’s all relative.

Professional vulnerability and personal authenticity are powerful currencies in life and business. 

This week I’m exercising professional vulnerability by taking part in a stand-up comedy writing course run by Lynne Parker (TAG) of Funny Women (TAG). There is literally nowhere to hide!

One activity was complimenting someone else’s work then ‘bragging’ about yourself. 

Most of the women found it hard to tell the truth about themselves. Some mentioned that they felt uncomfortable and even when they said something they felt the need to play it down or justify it. 

Mine started with “I’m a phenomenal human female…” as I’m a firm believer in the fact that it’s not bragging if it’s true! My partner’s response was “Do you practice that?”

I don’t but I am intentional about standing on the truth about who I am. I’m a reformed self-doubting believer of my inner critic and not only did that suck it was a life based on lies!


Here’s how I made the switch to owning my own story…

  1. Identify the THOUGHTS and FEELINGS 

Your life to this moment is full of Should Stories. These are formed from parenting, education, gender, race, class and a myriad of other determiners. As a working-class kid from an under-resourced council estate, my theme tune of ‘People like me don’t do things like that’ formed when I found myself in foster care and attending a middle-class and affluent school. I failed to update my story and carried that thought/feeling well into adulthood.

  1. Watch your WORDS and ACTIONS

You’re leaking! What you think and feel is demonstrated by what you say and do. Even if you’ve long forgotten the original trigger, you act your Year 7 lie of ‘I’m crap at maths’ by avoiding anything with numbers like the plague! Listen to yourself, or better still ask someone who knows you to tell you the negative things you’ve said about yourself this week. They will have a list!

  1. HABIT and DESTINY

The great news about habits is that they can be broken. Your past does not have to be a script for your future. Choose the elements of your character that you are ready to unsubscribe from and hit the button! Use the phrase ‘Up until now I <insert negative statement>. From now on <insert mindset shift>’

I wish I could tell you that it’s easy. I’ve done (and continue to do) the work required to show up as my full-fat self at work and in life. What I can promise you is that kicking your Should Stories to the kerb is 100% worth it! 


Feeling 10% BRAVER, ready to be a FEAR FIGHTER and own your new RESILIENCE NINJA status as a POSITIVE DISRUPTOR? Great. Here’s a 10% off voucher (valid for one week only!) for your very own T-Shirt of Truth. Choose your truth and the discount will be applied automatically at the checkout. Simple! https://jazampawfarr.com/truth

Click below for my best advice on how to stop lying to yourself!

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